People say that the first years of marriage are the hardest. I think the main reason why the first years of a marriage are such a challenge is because both partners are yet to understand their differences. You might have overlooked these differences while you were dating but as soon as you get married and you’re stuck in the same house with kids to raise, reality will begin to set in.
Marriage problems are not an indication that you made a poor choice of partner. You must be patient and willing to build your marriage. In the first 5 years of marriage, many couples will experience the 5 issues mentioned below.
Understanding your roles
Before you get married, you may assume that your partner will take on a certain role in the union and end up surprised when things do not turn out the way you expect. For instance, if the man is the bread winner but you find yourself paying all the bills, this can create a problem in your marriage.
The best way to overcome this is by discussing with your partner all these expectations. Make sure you come into an agreement about the household roles. Don’t put a lot of emphasis on how your partner is not doing enough but rather concentrate on how you can help.
Financial challenges always occur in a marriage and sometimes they can lead to a divorce if not amicably solved. It may be that one of you is feeling like the other is spending money irresponsibly. The worst thing you can do in such a situation is to begin blaming one another for the financial pitfalls.
If you share the same values then it will be easy to resolve financial matters that arise in your marriage. You need to decide on what you would rather spend money on most and work out a budget that caters for the most important things.
Sometimes in-laws can become an issue in your new marriage. Like it or not, when you married this person, you married his family too. In some cases, clingy parents who want to keep on following their children can disrupt a marriage. In other cases, the in-laws were against your marriage from the onset and this creates unnecessary pressure in your marriage. Sometimes visiting in-laws can become a financial burden that disrupts your marriage.
Whatever the issue is, learn to put your partner first. If it’s your family that is the problem, you need to communicate the message well with them. Your family needs to respect your marriage so you should set some boundaries straight if you want to move forward.
When differences arise in your marriage, you may be unable to communicate effectively with your partner. Effective communication is important because it influences your ability to manage your feelings whenever there is a conflict. You may have a problem with timing certain conversations and end up spoiling the other person’s moods.
The most important thing you can do here is to stop assuming what your partner is feeling or thinking. You need to clearly communicate by word of mouth if you are in a disagreement.
Newlyweds constantly face conflicts surrounding children. Marriages will always face an extra strain when kids come into the scene. You may be arguing about how to raise your children, the time spent with the children or the consequences of certain activities. All these may bring tension in your marriage. So long as you share the same values, everything will be alright.