Bringing sexy back
Them other boys don’t know how to act
I think it’s special what’s behind your back
So turn around and I’ll pick up the slack.
Take em’ to the bridge
You see these shackles
Baby I’m your slave
I’ll let you whip me if I misbehave
It’s just that no one makes me feel this way
Song sound familiar … Right? Over the weekend I had the Opportunity to speak to a group of women on “TAKING SEXY BACK!’ so I took the time to research on what is sexy… I decided to pay special attention to the advertisements, the music videos…(hmmmm steamy is the word). I am amazed at how much our lives are determined by what the media flaunts… Those jeans, that Car, toothpaste and Even Cooking Oil is sexy! Every street corner has a bill board or flier that jumps at you with an overt message on what sexy is or is not. Lets talk….
It’s interesting that when we hear this we already have a picture of what sexy is ..right? Let me ask, when did you first hear about something being Sexy? Let me help you… this message was imprinted a very long time ago..remember as a little gal what books did you interact with? Cinderella, snow- white and the seven dwarfs, Rapunzel…etc..what is the common denominator with these women…. yes they have pouty red lips, big eyes, petite waists, flawless skin, dainty steps.. and most of all a man that is willing and dying to rescue them.
Then we grew older and read Sweet Valley High, Mills and Boon etc. The message being express yourself- uninhibitedly. Restraint and self- control are two foreign words. The world has tried (successfully) to define what Sexy is and is not and they are targeting us at a very young age. By the time we are 21 the message we believe is
1) To ‘Hook HIM- Give Him, 2) IF you’ve GOT IT – FLAUNT IT, 3) If you want to be happy- Get a MAN! .
The truth of the matter is that there is a certain progression to this lie that then leads to Bondage. According to Nancy Demoss (Lies Women Believe) we start by Listening to the lie, Believing the lie then acting on the lie.
Listening to the lie
When was the last time you bought an outfit based on a magazines opinion rather than your deep down gut feeling on what should fit appropriately for your age, sex and size. You know what, Am guilty as charged. I realized for a very long time. I had subscribed to the lie. I wanted to be able to gyrate like Beyonce, have a mind like Olivia Pope and Class like Michelle Obama. The pressure was too high, it cost too much to want to live such a lifestyle. So I ask whom have you been listening to?”Are you hearing words like…”A woman’s place is in the kitchen” “All men are Dogs…All you have to do is tame them”, or “A woman is only good when lying on her back” etc.
On the other hand the word of God is clear on this 1 Peter 2:9
But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light
Believing the Lie
Oxford dictionary defines belief as ‘an acceptance that a statement is true or that something exists”
The woman in this stage has listened to the lie for so long that she has started to accept that this lie is a true statement. Think about a lie that men are dogs… The woman who has started to believe this lie will forever go into relationships with a sole purpose of taming her man. This can be frustrating and lead to trouble within the relationship. A woman who accepts this lie exchanges the truth of what God says a man is with the lie.
Acting on the Lie
This is the Graduation Stage of “School of lieology”. This is when you have not only subscribed to the lie but you have now become the recruiter of this lie. This is the stage of compromise. At this stage, you have listened, believed and brought the lie to bed. Your opinions, belief system is now founded and based on the lie. The good thing is that it is not too late. Nancy Demoss of “Lies Women Believes has the following steps to recommend:
So then how do I walk away from the lies….? And reclaim my True Sexy? Then start by
1) Identifying the areas of bondage
2) Get to the Root,
3) Replace the LIE with the TRUTH
John 8:32 “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
About the Author
Cynthia Wambui Otieno is a Wife, Mother, Pastor and Founder of The Lamead Network Trust.. La Mead means to ignite. Her life’s Purpose is to enrich and empower the woman to achieve her full Potential.
Cynthia is a Trained Special Education Teacher, Passionate about Women and loves to spend her spare time cooking and traveling with her family. Reach out to Cynthia with your relationships questions, Dilemmas and discussions and she will be happy to walk you through the issues.